Richard Hartley (soul_cages) wrote in sanctuaryhprp,
Richard Hartley

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Ripping the Heart Out

Richard left his encounter with Tanzy feeling angry and guilty. He was angry at himself, he had thought he had gotten through all the angst that his mother had put him though. Guilty at making Tanzy cry. That was wrong and he knew it. Richard was climbing, rather running up the stairs leaping two at a time trying to make it to the Gryffindor Tower before he lost it. He was making good time up the stairs until he turned the corner running smack dab into someone. His hands reached out and caught her before she fell. Unfortunately, they also reveled eyes that were swollen and red, tears waiting to fall.
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"Oof!" Alyx had been on her way downstairs for her free period after a particularly thrilling Ancient Runes class. Lilian and Rosemary had gone off to Arithmancy, so Alyx was, for once, on her own. "Oh, terribly sorry, wasn't watching where I was -- Richard!" she exclaimed, when she realized exactly with whom she had collided. "Oh, good, I was hoping to see -- Sweet Mother! What's happened to you?"
Richard tried to pull away from Alyx and pass her by he needed to escape this was not suppose to happen again he had fought this once. "I .. . I .. . Tanzy crying .. . I . .." Richard took a deep breath trying to control the brain, "Dammit Alyx . . . I just made Tanzy cry . . . . I just kicked," Richard swallowed hard, "the sweetest person in school, I might as well drown puppies and burn kittens, I feel so - so - so Slytherian."
With that the tears started flowing and running down his face.
Alyx blinked twice, unable to make real sense of what he was saying, before she grabbed his arm and started trying to tug him off towards a less populated corridor. "C'mon, Richard-dear, let's sit you down for a bit... you need to calm down. And breathe," she reminded him.
Richard followed mindlessly trying to breathe and pull himself back together. He sat were he was directed to and worked to control his breathing. Finally, he said, "My mother, her words flooded back to me while I was talking with Tanzy, I panicked. Now she's prolly crying and I feel like such the heel for that. And I'm furious that my mother still has this control over me."
Alyx pursed her lips. "I'm sure Tanzy is... or will be... fine. I'll track her down and talk to her later if you want. As for your mother..." She sighed and plunked herself down on the bench next to him. "Well, I'm not quite sure what to tell you about that, dear."
Richard buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe I just freaked out over nothing," Looking over at Alyx, "Am I a bad person for hating my mother?"
"I don't think so," she replied simply. "I don't think hating one's mother is any worse than hating one's father, and I hate my father, and I don't think I'm a bad person." Alyx took one of Richard's hands gently. "Besides, your mother... well... from what I can gather, I mean... she sort of encourages that emotion from you. From what I can tell, that is," she finished, somewhat lamely.
Richard sat there for a few moments, "I just don't know any more." He shook his head, "You remember that one dance I asked you to, I think I was 12 - 13." Richard shifted a little, "She was furious with me, she hated the fact I invited anyone to that dance. She was going to introduce me to my wife that night. I bought you and she was livid."

"I think that was the same night I showed up on your mother's door step."
"Well, that was positively medieval-minded of her," Alyx said. "And yes, I do remember that night, though I wasn't quite sure why your mother seemed so..." She searched for the right word. Not directly impolite, but not anywhere near friendly, either. "Frigid towards me."

"And you know," she continued. "You're welcome at my mum's anytime. She adores you, and I don't think she's terribly fond of your mother's attitude... a bit too much of l'aristocratique about her, I think."
Richard leaned over and placed his head on Alyx's shoulder, "Thank you. I like your mom's place it seems there is so much love there." Richard sat up, "You know I think that was the only night I've seen my father disagree with my mother. She ordered me to never bring you over ever again. I was to have nothing to do with you or your mother. My father told her then she will have to simply leave if you come over." Looking at the floor, "I was a wreak." Richard stood and started pacing, "Your mother and I talked for hours."
Alyx tilted her head to one side, trying not to let on that she had been listening from the top of the stairs for the duration of Richard's long-ago conversation with her mother. "I hope that helped. I think Mum frets over you more than she does me sometimes. Not that I mind. Spreads out her inner hen-mother-instinct a bit." Alyx bit her lower lip, realizing that she was babbling and that probably wasn't doing anything to improve Richard's mood. "What can I do to help, Richard?"
"Alyx I love your mother, I would do anything to help her, she . . ." Richard stopped and dropped his head, "Alyx . . . she saved my life in more than one way. She helped me to see what my mother had done to me. And . . .," Richard turned away rubbing his eyes.
Alyx blinked wide green eyes up at him. "And?"
Richards shoulders dropped in defeat, "And I wasn't on my way to your house that night. I guess I showed up there by accident. I was . . . I . ." He head dropped to his chest, "I was going to end it that night."
Alyx blinked a few more times before the meaning sunk in. "Sweet mercy, Richard..." she said softly, jumping to her feet and going over to him. "I-- I had no idea it was so bad."
"Now you and your mother know, No one else even suspected," Richard leaned in signalling for a hug. At barely a whisper, "That night after the party my mother proceeded to pick you apart. Telling me every little detail of what was wrong with you and your family. She was mean, I remember that everything she said had to be true but you were not what she was telling you were. I defend you telling her all the wonderful qualities you had and that I was going to marry you if she wasn't careful. My mother hurt me that night me, to my core. She was on her way to get her wand when I ran away. Faith brought me to your house. Your mother talked me down."
Alyx impulsively threw her arms around Richard, hugging him almost fiercely. "You poor thing," she murmured. "That must've been an absolutely terrible night. I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I would've... well, I would've done something."
Richard looked into those green eyes, "Alyx, you've been there everytime I've needed a friend, you are the closest person I've had in my life. I would do anything for you. You are here now. I would be lost without you. I . . ."
Alyx flushed scarlet. "Anytime you need me, Richard-dear. That's what friends are for."
Richard did not want to let Alyx go, this moment needed to last forever. It was pleasent to be held by by the one that he loved. He thought it he thought it, Love. Richard nuzzled a little, "You know that goes both ways. So what do I do about poor Tanzy?"
Alyx giggled. "Don't worry about it -- I'll see if I can track her down, make sure she's okay. Girl talk, like. And then we'll laugh and chatter about how mad boys are and then you can talk to her and it will all be okay again."
Richard smiled, "Your the best." Then he kissed her on the cheek, "should I send flowers?"
Alyx laughed and went to pick up her backpack from where she'd dropped it by the bench. "I don't think that's necessary. Besides, the way I hear it, she's got enough boys panting over her that there's a good chance one of them would decide to deck you for it." She slung her pack over her shoulder, grinning over at him.
Richard took her hand for a moment, "Thank you, I feel better. I'm going to the Tower and study for a while. Knowing my luck I'm going to have a legion of boys stalking me."

Richard turned and started walking with his robes flowing behind him, he turned once to watch her walk off, God she was beautiful. She was going to make someone a lucky man. He continued to the Gryffindor Tower.